All pessimistic doomsday fear mongers can rest easy, the Covenant Day will pass off peacefully. The Northern Ireland Office have come up with stroke of genius to ensure a trouble-free day.
Assistant Chief Constable Judith Gillespie will be taking charge of the proceedings on the ground. She will be mingling with the protesters, the marchers, the bandsmen/women and the spectators. Judith will be looking for the best behaved and most neatly turned out individuals on the day.
Judith will present all the best behaved with very specially prepared free Super Injunction vouchers worth £80,000 each. She has 100 of these vouchers to give out to the very best behaved males and females she sees!
Judith herself can attest to the efficacy of these Super Injunction vouchers, the one she has works a treat!! I am sure you have never heard about Judith having an affair with Gerry Kelly, have you?
This is a picture of the Super Injunction voucher below.
These special Covenant day Super Injunction vouchers come with an extra bonus!! They are all backed by a unique MI5 guarantee!! Should, heaven forbid, anyone find out about your Super Injunction, MI5 will guarantee to turn on “the fear factor.”
They will use sinister tactics to ensure anyone who finds out about your identity will be frightened into remaining silent!! It works perfectly. You will be astounded at the amount of ”Protestant, Unionist, Loyalists” who know the identities of many of the Super Injunctions yet they are too frightened to name them publicly. They will give all sorts of spurious reasons why they will not name them but the real reason is, ”the famous MI5 fear factor.”
So, just remember all you protesters, paraders, bandsmen/women and spectators, be on your best behaviour and keep an eye out for Judith, she may be working uncover on the day, so be very alert, you don`t want to miss the opportunity of owning your very own free Super Injunction voucher do you???
Funny old world aint it?
Ecc 10:1 Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: so doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour.
Ecc 10:20 Curse not the king, no not in thy thought; and curse not the rich in thy bedchamber: for a bird of the air shall carry the voice, and that which hath wings shall tell the matter.